Duo Discovers Sugar... In It's Most Dangerous Form
by Angepegasimon
Summary: What do you get when you put two sugar fiends... one an authoress, one a Gundam pilot together in a house full of unknowing victims? Absolute insanity.(Note: I might write another part if I get good reviews.)
1. Default Chapter Title

Duo Discovers Sugar… In It's Most Dangerous Form  
  
Quatre and Heero were playing chess. Trowa was adding more gel to his hair and Wufei was practicing martial arts on a dummy. He had placed a picture of Duo's face on the dummy, and was now ripping it to shreds.  
  
"DIE MAXWELL! HIYA!" he cried, beating the crap out of the dummy.  
  
Duo and Angepegasimon were sitting on the couch watching T.V. The authoress found that there was nothing interesting right now happening to the Gundam boys. She wasn't writing at all, just waiting for something to happen. She brought out a bag of Pixie Stix and began to open them.  
  
Duo sniffed the air.  
  
"I… smell…sugar…" he droned, beginning to drool.  
  
"Uh oh… this can not be good…."  
  
Duo tackled the girl (much to her delight) and pulled her precious Pixie Stix away from her (much to her anger).  
"DUO! LET IT GO! THEY'RE MINE!" screamed the tired Authoress Angepegasimon.  
  
"No, they're mine!" he yelled back, pulling at the package.  
  
"MINE!" yelled Angepegasimon (Meg, people… Meg…)  
  
"MINE!" hollered Duo.  
  
Suddenly, the package broke in half.  
  
"God dammit!" cursed Meg.  
  
"Let's just split them 50-50, okay Pega?" Duo pleaded, fluttering his eyes.  
  
'Damn…. I can't resist…. even if it means half my Pixie Stix…'  
  
"Deal." she said, and they began to separate the different colors between them.  
  
20 Pixie Stix (for each of them) later…  
  
"Lets go annoy someone! Lets go annoy someone! Lets go annoy someone!" Duo chanted hyperly.  
  
"YahavetosayitthreetimesDuo?" Meg replied just as hyper.  
  
They went into Wufei's room, and found he wasn't there. His room was empty except for a shrine to Nataku and posters of Nataku covering his walls.  
  
Duo grinned evilly.  
  
"I gotta a plan. I gotta plan. I gotta plan."  
  
A few hours later…  
  
"I'm going to bed…" yawned Wufei, heading towards his room.  
  
"Me too…" yawned Quatre.  
  
"Me three…" yawned Trowa.  
  
Heero followed them.  
  
"I wonder what happened to Duo and his crazy author friend?"  
  
Wufei opened his door, on the tip of his tongue were the words "Who cares?" but those words were immediately forgotten as he screamed…  
  
"INJUSTICE!!!!!!! DUO!!!!! I'M GONNA KIIIIIIILLLLLLL YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
He drew his sword and began searching the house.  
  
"Wonder what he's so mad about… hmmph…" Quatre said, opening the door to his own room.  
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed and jumped into Trowa's arms.  
  
"Hmm…. wonder what Duo did to my room." thought Heero. He opened the door and the following happened in 1 minute.  
  
60 seconds: Heero stares about his room.  
55 seconds: Heero gasps out loud.  
50 seconds: Heero screams bloody murder.  
40 seconds: Heero swears a heck of a lot in Japanese.  
35 seconds: Heero starts to get a serious nosebleed.  
20 seconds: Heero begins to feel really dizzy.  
10 seconds: Heero begins to see black instead of red.  
0 seconds: Heero faints.  
  
Trowa, still carrying a now shaking Quatre, goes up to his own room. He looked around.  
  
"Not bad…" he said grinning.  
  
AngePega and Duo look down on him from a hole in the roof.  
  
"Really?!? THANX!!!!" they replied hyperly, before continuing to make out on the roof.  
  
Trowa flopped down on his bed.  
  
"I could definantly get used to this look in my room…"  
  
A paper floated down from the roof. It read like so…  
  
Wufei: Switch to Quatre's pink look with Chibis all over it.  
Quatre: Switch to Nataku look.  
Heero: Paste naked pictures of Relana all over the place.  
Trowa: Paste naked pictures of Quatre all over the place. (?)  
  
The End.  
  
Author's Notes: Now you gotta admit. THAT was funny. Feedback please! I might continue this, I dunno…  



	2. Default Chapter Title

Duo Discovers Sugar Part 2  
  
Heero had regained conciousness. Together he and Wufei searched the house for the wacky authoress and her favorite Gundam character.  
  
"Come out come out wherever you are…" muttered Heero, waving his gun around. He LIKED his room all right, but didn't wish the other pilots to know that. Plus, he wanted to kill Duo for taking naked pictures of Relana without her knowledge.  
  
Wufei and Heero had reached Trowa's room, and kicked open the door. Immediately their skin paled, and tinged with green at seeing the couple on the bed. Both ran down the hall and Heero got into the bathroom first. Vomiting noises are heard from outside.  
  
"INJUSTICE! I NEED TO---*gulp*"  
  
Wufei threw up in the nearest potted plant.  
  
"Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggllllllyyyyppppppufffffffff Jiiiiiiiiiggglllllleeeeeeeeeeeeepufffffff!" came from the den.  
  
Heero came bursting out of the bathroom and ran with Wufei into the den, gun pointed and saber drawn.  
  
When they got there, they found Duo and Meg dressed as Jigglypuffs. Yep, ears, pink face paint, curl and such. Meg snored loudly in Duo's lap.  
  
"Jiggly?!?" exclaimed Duo, pushing Meg. "PUFF!"  
  
He hit Heero and Wufei, knocking them out and drew all over their faces. Then laughing like a maniac, he grabbed his authoress and bolted out the door.  
  
Trowa and Quatre had gotten their clothes back on after their little bit of 'fun', (Peace out all Quatre/Trowa fans!) and were now also looking to kill Duo and Meg.  
  
"We shouldn't kill them, but they went too far… tearing down my chibi wallpaper…" sniffed Quatre, loading a gun.  
  
Trowa just responded "………,……….!"  
  
"Yes you're right as always Trowa."  
  
"………"  
  
"You're welcome Trowa."  
  
Meanwhile…  
  
"Now Duo, lets get some *really good* sugar!" the authoress smiled evilly.  
  
"Oh really? What could be better than Pixie Stix?" Duo asked interested.  
  
"These." said Meg, taking out a box of Lucky Charms and spilling it all into a big bowl. She quickly separated the marshmallows from the grains.  
  
"These?" he said, picking up a grain piece.  
  
"No stupid. *These*…" she said, holding up a handful of the tiny dehydrated marshmallows.  
  
"Ohhhhhh…." Duo said. Suddenly his gaze turned from dumb-founded to evil.   
  
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhwwwwwwaaaaaaa….." he said grinning.  
  
A whole bowl of marshmallows later…  
  
Duo and Meg were in Super Deformed Kawaii Chibi Mode. We'll call them Meg-chan and Duo-chan for the time being…  
  
"Meg-chan wuvs Wucky Charms!" said the SD authoress.  
  
"Duo-chan wanna sing… hearts, stars and horseshoes! Cwovers and bwoo moons! Pwots of gwold and wainbows and me wed bawwoons!" sang Duo-chan.  
  
"Meg-chan thinks Duo-chan sings wuvvily!"  
  
"Weally?" Duo-chan blushed.  
  
Meanwhile…  
  
"Trowa, lets look in the kitchen." said Quatre. Trowa nodded in agreement.  
  
They burst in, guns drawn. The two chibis turned, violet and brown eyes growing bigger and rounder by the second.  
  
"Awwwwwww! How cyyyuuuuuuuuuttte!" exclaimed Quatre, dropping his gun arm. "Don't you think so Trowa?"  
  
Trowa gulped and nodded his head. The second Quatre turned away though, he shook his head "No.".  
  
"Meg-chan angry! Woo inter---- inter…"  
  
"---rupted?" Quatre helped.  
  
"Meg-chan tinks so! Woo interwupted Duo-chan's Jiggwypuff song!"  
  
"Duo-chan wanna another marshmawwow!"  
  
POP!  
  
POP!  
  
Both became normal anime characters again, except they were still hyped on sugar.  
  
"…………………" Trowa reminded Quatre.  
  
"Oh yes, sorry guys…" Quatre said, pointing his gun. "…But we're gonna have to put you two in straight jackets… just a safety precaution…"  
  
Meg sighed, and nodded to Duo. They both took out larger metallic guns. Duo and her put on a pair of sunglasses and some kind of pack on their back.  
  
"I don't think so." Meg said, giving her best impression of 'Arnold'.  
  
"Hasta la vista… babies…" said Duo also impersonating 'Arnold'.  
  
Both the other Gundam pilots dropped their guns.  
  
"Uh… We shouldn't be fighting at all guys…" muttered Quatre, taking a couple steps back.  
  
Meg and Duo turned to each other then DeathGlared® the other two. Quatre fainted in Trowa's arms.  
  
"…………" was all the Trowa said.  
  
Meanwhile…  
  
Heero's eyes sprang open.  
  
"Someone's using my DeathGlare®…" he said in anger. He pushed Wufei awake.  
  
"Huh? Injustice! I was dreaming of Nataku!" yelled Wufei in anger.  
  
Heero put a hand to his mouth. He mouth was curled up in a smile. He began to giggle.  
  
"What is so funny!?!?" asked Wufei in anger.  
  
Finally Heero fell over laughing at what the two had done to Wufei's face. Wufei looked in a mirror and screamed.  
  
They had drawn a beard on him with black marker, and then had written 'Nataku sucks!' and 'I AM INJUSTICE!' on Wufei's cheeks. He ran to the bathroom and began to wash off the horrible marks, only to find they were using permanent markers.  
  
"MAXWELL!!!!!! YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ARE GONNA DIE FOR THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Heero looked into the mirror himself and his attitude changed immediately. They wrote 'Perfect Soldier my *ss' and 'Relena lover!' all over his face. On his forehead, Duo wrote 'The God and Goddess of Death was ('was' had been crossed out… Duo needs to work on grammar! Luckily he has an authoress as a friend.) were here!'.  
  
Heero and Wufei now followed the trail of broken stuff to the kitchen.  
  
"Freeze!" yelled Duo, pointing at Wufei and Heero.  
  
"Uh… now Duo, you don't want to hurt us…" Heero began a little shakily.  
  
"Drop your weapons!" Meg called.  
  
All of them, including a sobbing Wufei, handed their weapons over. Meg locked them up in a cabinet.  
  
"Now I want you to slowly and calmly file out and go to your rooms…" Duo said grinning, pointing the gun at them all.  
  
"No wait D-chan! Lets shoot em!" said Meg hyperly.  
  
"Ok!"  
  
They opened fire on the four pilots. They were on the floor crying with pain. Red pools were gathered around each of them.  
  
"I'm gonna die… get Relena! I need to kiss her before I go……" murmured Heero.  
  
"Troooooowaaa! Please don't die Trowa!" cried Quatre, crawling over to his koi.  
  
"……………." he replied, beginning to close his eyes.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Quatre cried and kissed him.  
  
"Injustice! I am indestructible! No! I am a weakling! Nataku I have failed you!!!" cried You-Know-Who slumping over.  
  
"BAKAS!" yelled Meg. "Get up!"  
  
The four other pilots shot her a You're Crazy, Right?® look.  
  
Duo was bent over with laughter.  
  
"Ever hear of dying water red before putting it in the squirt gun???" Duo gasped between laughs.  
  
The four other pilots eyes grew wide with realization then red with anger.  
  
"Pretty sweet joke huh guys?…. Uh guys?" Duo started to back away a little frightened by the anger of the four.  
  
"DIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!" they all screamed, launching themselves at the two.  
  
"Never thought I'd have to do this…." Meg pulled on a cord, and a bunch of tar came down a chute, and was dumped on the four angry pilots. Duo yanked another cord and a million soft feathers floated down, sticking to the tar.  
  
The four others blinked and looked at each other's feathery image.  
  
"Hee hee hee hee!" Duo and Meg laughed.  
  
They turned, their anger building once again.  
  
"Uh oh…"  
  
The End…. 4 now!!! Muwhahahahaha!!!  



	3. Default Chapter Title

Duo Discovers Sugar Part Three  
  
Meg and Duo struggled against their restraints. The others had beaten the crap out of them, put them in straight jackets, bound and gagged them, and finally shoved them into the dark closet, which the had locked and barred off.  
  
"Mmmmph mmmuff…" Duo said  
  
[SUBTITLE: Guess we're screwed…]  
  
"Mmmm mfffphhhh!" Meg snapped.  
  
[SUBTITLE: Not necessarily!]  
  
"Mmm?"  
  
[SUBTITLE: Huh?]  
  
"Mmmmmffff mmphh ffffffmuuuummphh!"  
  
[SUBTITLE: I'm still writing this story dammit, and this isn't how it ends!]  
  
Meg's hair rose into the air, and her eyes glowed scarlet.  
  
"Mmmmphffff ffff!" cried Duo in alarm.  
  
[SUBTITLE: What the hell are you doing!]  
  
"Mmmmmmphff mmuummmmffffphh."  
  
[SUBTITLE: I'm writing the story… Relana's coming to save us.]  
  
"MMMMPHHHFF????"  
  
[SUBTITLE: RELANA?!?!?]  
  
Meg nodded and the clicking of keys could be heard in the next room. On Heero's laptop, the story continued…  
  
Ding dong!  
  
"I got it." said Trowa opening the door.  
  
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwoooo!"  
  
"It's Relana." muttered Trowa.  
  
"Hi Relana!" chirped Heero.  
  
Duo giggled in the closet.  
  
"Mmmmm mmmm mph??"  
  
[SUBTITLE: Heero chirps???]  
  
"Mmmmph."  
  
[SUBTITLE: Shut up Duo.]  
  
"Can I go up to your room?"  
  
"Yes--- I mean NO! No you can't go up there!" Heero shouted, blocking the stairs.  
  
"Okayyyy… can I at least hang my coat in the closet?" she said.  
  
"NO!" shouted the other three pilots, leaping up and guarding the closet.  
  
"MMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! MPHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" screamed the two in the closet.  
  
[SUBTITLE: RELANA!!!!! HELLLLPPPP!!!!]  
  
"Who's in there?" she asked Heero, eyebrow raised.  
  
"Uh… just Duo and a crazy friend of his…"  
  
Relana gasped.  
  
"Let them out immediately! We cannot use force to achieve peace!"  
  
Relana undid all the locks, and took the ropes and straight jackets off the two.  
  
Meg and Duo jumped up.  
  
"Thanks moron!" they cried before running quickly upstairs.  
  
"Oops…" muttered Relana.  
  
"Heero! Your stupid onna set the prisoners free! Injustice! Nataku is not pleased!" yelled Wufei.  
  
"Oh shut the hell up Wufei!" Relana yelled back.  
  
Wufei stared at her. He sniffed and began to bawl his eyes out, tears gushing out ala anime.  
  
"*sniff* Why are you s-so *cry* m-m-mean to me!" Wufei stuttered and cried some more.  
  
"Hey lemme write!" said Duo, pulling away the lap top from Meg.  
  
"Wait! Duo you could ruin the delicate balance of the fanfic!"  
  
Duo flashed her a grin.  
  
"I know."  
  
Meg grinned in agreement.  
  
"I like the way you think Mr. Maxwell…"  
  
Wufei suddenly got up and walked into the closet. He came out in a pink ballerina outfit, and started dancing to 'Dance of the Tulips'.  
  
All the other pilots stared in disbelief until Heero got up on the coffee table and started singing 'The Bad Touch' while stripping. Relana looks on, eyes growing wider every second.  
  
The only two sane people in the house (Quatre and Trowa!) made a bolt for the door, but were halted. They turned around slowly. Suddenly, Quatre threw a punch at Trowa, and Trowa kicked him back.  
  
"I hate you!" yelled Trowa.  
  
"Oh yeah?!? Well you're not even good in bed!" Quatre retorted.  
  
"Look who's talking?!? Little One doesn't just describe you you know!"  
  
"How dare you!!!!!"  
  
The two kept fighting, Wufei kept on dancing, Heero kept on stripping and Relana kept on staring.  
  
"Duuuo! They're out of character! I'm gonna get flamed!" whined Meg.  
  
Suddenly, a flamethrower comes and burns Duo. He is charred black and coughs a cloud of smoke.  
  
Meg's eyes narrowed.  
  
"Told ya so…" she said, taking the laptop.  
  
Immediately, all the music screeched to a halt.  
  
"What the? AGHHHHHH!!!! INJUSTICE! I LOOK LIKE AN ONNA!!!!! DISGRACE!!!!"  
  
Heero who was blushing like hell, jumped down off the table, and ran into the closet. He came out with his clothes on, trying to keep his cool posture.  
  
"Omae o koruso Duo."  
  
Relana was frozen to her spot and couldn't move a muscle.  
  
"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel…" she murmured.  
  
Trowa and Quatre were passed out on the floor.  
  
Wufei, who had now gotten his own clothes on again as well appeared on the scene next to Heero.  
  
"I do NOT want to know what they were doing…" he stated, and then ran upstairs with Heero.  
  
What they came upon was a scene of spilled Coke cans, Pixie Stix dust, sugar, marshmallows, coffee and other hypering food on the floor. Two little chibis slept quietly on the floor, a bubble was coming out of Duo-chan's nose. Heero picked up his laptop and read the last line of the Word document.  
  
"It's all done for now! Hope you liked it! I might write other stories with Duo and me but for now, see ya!"  
  
Wufei and him looked at each other puzzled. Then both their eyes grew wide with realization.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The scream was heard all over.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Hmm… I have a hankering to say this… cause I think I already knew I was gonna say it… isn't that weird???  
  
It's all done for now! Hope you liked it! I might write other stories with Duo and me but for now, see ya!  



End file.
